THROUGH THE VALLEY

THROUGH THE VALLEY

I’ve set and thought about this for 9 months, and I think back over the struggles we’ve had and all the tears and pain. Now the tears are different, we’ve have been through so much over the past 4 years. I can’t seem to forget the night of July 7 2006 when one of the most important people in my life attempted suicide, my world was rocked, my beautiful daughter wanted to end her life.

We had been going thru some strange times, she had become a cutter and we didn’t understand why someone with so much going for her would feel so much pain and anger that she would have to harm herself to feel better about life. We tried to talk to her but she just closed herself off from us.

Then that night.

Over the next few months I didn’t understand why God would let this happen to us or her, and what was the reason? I prayed for help and answers and it seemed nothing came. This continued for the next 2 years, in and out of a facility, 2 more suicide attempts, counseling, and reaching out for help. I became bitter, argued and fought with God, almost to the point of giving up. Then slowly things changed, the cutting stopped and she became more open to family and life.

Well things have definitely changed, she has grown into a beautiful women. I mentioned nine months, well now she is having a baby; my little girl who has been through so much is having her own little girl.

Through this time God found a way to speak to us, through music God let us know he was there. Several years ago we had met Mark Hall of Casting Crowns, at that time we were working with youth, Mark had told me that if I ever needed anything to let him know, of course he was talking about youth work but, what none of us knew at the time that the band would help us in ways only God could have been involved in. It seemed that their music mirrored our lives, with songs like “Does anybody hear her”, “Set me free”, “Prodigal”, and the one that touched us most “Praise you in the storm”. Two albums seem to speak to us, I wrote Mark and told him all this and thanked him and the group for praying for us and that God had truly been at work through them. So when you think God is not there and you begin to believe that God is “The angry little boy with magnifying glass” remember he lets us go through these ordeals for a reason, maybe to strengthen a marriage or show a hard headed man that no matter what, He is still there. God has truly blessed us, and been there even though we thought He wasn’t. Even though we didn’t trust and thought about turning away we didn’t, we knew deep inside God is always there and HE knows the time and place to move in our lives.

Now the tears of pain and heartache have been replaced by tears of joy and happiness, I am so proud of who she has become and the fact that she is bringing another beautiful little girl into our lives and the world. As I post this today my beautiful granddaughter was born Jan. 17, 2011. Baby and momma are doing great and Papa is eating it up. 

"Yes tho I walk through the valley of death I will free no evil for you are with me." Psalms 23                 Dedicated to Kristan and Emori